"Gay Christian" or "A Christian Struggling with Being Gay"?

Please, don't misunderstand me. I am merely making a statement about "Gay Christians", not confessing my beliefs. I do not believe that homosexuality is of God and I'm not anywhere close to changing my views. I cannot call myself a "gay christian". I am a person that is a christian who struggles with being gay. This is my own view and I am in no way trying to minimize anyone else's opinion. Being gay is a personal and deeply rooted part of a person, especially if you have always felt same sex attractions since birth. Being judged for being gay is an attack on the whole person, because being gay is a part of who you are. You've always been gay since you can remember or maybe you've just discovered you are gay. It's still a part of you. I've felt this way since the beginning too.

I am a person who loves Jesus Christ with all my heart who is struggling with being gay. I haven't found a way to come to terms with it. That's just how I feel. You can hate me for it, but that's who I am, and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I was in a gay relationship for nine years and I've been dealing with being HIV+ since 1994. Currently, I'm in a gay relationship and I've been very open and honest with my partner about my spiritual struggles. He has been very supportive of me and he encourages me to find peace of mind.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or straight. God loves us all. We are all people dealing with our own lives. I will be standing before God alone when I give an account for my life to Him, so I need to find peace with God without being a judge to anyone else. I need to point the finger at myself and search my own heart. Judging another person doesn't make me more righteous than anyone. It just make me more of a hypocrite and a coward because I'm afraid to look at the person in the mirror. I want others to see that there are "Followers of Jesus" out there who do not have the same view, but still love them unconditionally. I am sure we will be very suprised who we see being sent to heaven and to hell.

As always, I love you guys and spread love.

Peace!

Updated Monday, August 3, 2009:

Check this site out, "The Gay Christian Network".

Gay Christians?

I feel so layed back today, even though it's Monday. I'm listening to Big Band music. I love it. I'm not that old, so I can only imagine what it was like back then. The music is so relaxing. Reminds me of the rainy days, you just want to wrap up in your blankets in bed and watch classic b&w love stories on the boob tube.

What a nice day! It's warm with a cool breeze. Do you ever feel peaceful but stressed at the same time? I think it's the caffiene I had this morning. Gotta get off the caffiene.

Don't have much to say right now, only that I'm in a place in my life when I'm doing some spiritual searching as well as determining who I am sexually. Gay, Straight, Bisexual, non-sexual? Oh brother! And how does this all fit into my relationship with Jesus Christ? I'm in a gay relationship right now and my partner believes he was born gay, but I'm still not sure. I'm searching and open to input, opinions, views, and testimonies of others, if you'd like to comment.

Updated Monday, August 3, 2009:

Check this site out, "The Gay Christian Network".

Monday, Monday...

I was singing the chorus to "Monday, Monday" by the Mama's and Papa's this morning on my way to work today, but I never really listened to the lyrics. It's breakup song. :(

Ba da, ba da da da
Ba da, ba da da da
Ba da, ba da da da

Monday, Monday
So good to me
Monday morning
It was all I hoped it would be
Oh, Monday morning
Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still
Be here with me

Monday, Monday
Can't trust that day
Monday, Monday
Sometimes it just turns out that way
Oh, Monday morning you gave me no warning
Of what was to be
Oh, Monday, Monday
How could you leave and not take me

Every other day
Every other day
Every other day
Every other day of the week is fine (fine), yeah
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me crying all of the time
You can find me crying all of the time
Monday, Monday
So good to me
Monday morning
It was all I hoped it would be
But, Monday morning
Monday morning couldn't guarantee
That Monday evening you would still
Be here with me

Every other day
Every other day
Every other day
Every other day of the week is fine (fine), yeah
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
But whenever Monday comes
You can find me crying all of the time
You can find me crying all of the time

Monday, Monday
Ba da, ba da da da
Can't trust that day
Ba da, ba da da da
Monday, Monday
Ba da, ba da da da
It just turns out that way
Ba da, ba da da da
Oh, Monday, Monday
Ba da, ba da da da
Won't go away
Ba da, ba da da da
Monday, Monday
Ba da, ba da da da
It's here to stay
Ba da, ba da da da
Oh, Monday, Monday
Ba da, ba da da da

TGIF

I bought a HDTV yesterday from Amazon! It should arrive the end of next week. I'm so excited! I love electronics! What a boring life! :) So, I'm going to be going to my sister's new house tonight to return the TV she was loaning me. Kewl! I belong to 24 Hour Fitness. My trainer has been helping me build up my "Core". Abs/Back muscles. It's going really well. We meet once a week. I've also been walking back and forth to work. It's a two mile walk and usually takes me around thirty minutes. I can see new muscles on my thighs and my calves are exploding! Getting old, so I want to stay as healthy as possible as long as I can. Tomorrow is Harry Potter with Eric(bf) and friends! I need to see the first two again. Not a big HP fan. Anyways, have a nice weekend everybody! Love ya!

Words to Live By...

Wow! I have so many things going through my mind. It's so slow around here, but I'm still working. I have a lot of time to think, search, deliver. Whatever! I'm writing freely so try to read between the lines. Sorry, if none of this makes sense. God, I pray that you would help me to see the truth through the lies. I'm a little confused, but I'm confident that God will pull me through. Praise the Lord in the valleys and from the mountain tops. Praise Him when your down and when your up. Love everyone always no matter what they say or do. Speak well of everyone. God loves you, doesn't he and your a rotten sinner, saved by His grace only. Stay true to God and to yourself. Stay true to others. Don't be judgemental like the ones who profess to know Christ but don't practice His teachings. Love all human beings despite of sex, race, disability, disease, sexual orientation, etc. Stay true to yourself. Learn to love yourself so you can love others. OK. I feel better. Love you guys! Bye!

Wazzup?

Hey Everybody!

Blogs are all new to me, so I thought I would check it out. It's a sunny day here in San Francisco, CA. Supposed to be hot! Yah! I love SF weather. Quite a variety. So, how about I use this blog to document my daily life and how it progresses through time. OK! That's what I'll do. I have a few goals I've set for myself and I've reached a point in my life when I can actually achieve those goals. I just found out that I'm going to be layed off at the end of October, but I have a great severance package, so I hope to travel to Europe and/or do some missionary work, depending on the direction my life goes. I know I have a little control over that. I also have a lot of emotional and spiritual issues in my life I'm working on. We'll see what happens. I'll write more later on. Love you, guys!