Monday, September 25, 2006

If I knew then what I know now...

1:32 AM in the morning...not sure what to write. I just changed the name of my blog to "My Life Right Now". I figured that would be a better name than "MyxMaster". I've been going through so many changes lately - emotionally and spiritually. I know it's been a while since I've added anything to my blog and I'm not sure if anyone even reads it, but if anyone does, I hope by sharing my experiences, that it will help someone in someway.

So here's "my life right now"...

I've been seeing a therapist since around Feb '06. I've had about one session a week since then. I've never really opened up to someone so much in my life. It's always been a conversation between only me and God. I love God very, very much and I'm so thankful He's in my life. Well, the therapy sessions have brought up a lot of memories tied to emotions that I never took the time to think about and process. Now I am. What a life journey this is going to be for me. I'm unemployed right now, but on state disability until the end of Dec '06 for emotional anxiety and depression. I wrote a mission statement for my life a while back. I think I blogged about it before. I'd like to add to that list now because I know that I really should take more time to do it.

It goes like this:

1. Live my life in the pursuit of God.
2. Invest time with my Family and Friends
3. Help Others
4. Protect the Environment

My new priority will be "Invest time with my Family and Friends". I have family from my Dad's first marriage and my mom's second marriage that I would really like to restablish communications with. I'd also like to spend more time with my Mom and invest more time with my existing friends and be more a friend to others.

Another change in my life...my partner, Eric, and I have been together for three years now, but he's moved to Philadelphia to take care of his father who's just retired. I love Eric very much. We decided that this would be the best for both of us because we seem to be headed in two different directions. Priority one in my life is to "Live my life in the pursuit of God". I'm still discovering who I am, where I'm going and what I stand for. I'm just coming to terms with being a christian and being gay. My previous relationship before I met Eric was ten years and I was single less than a year. I'd like to take this time to get to know myself. Eric and I are still talking about what the future holds for both of us as partners or as friends. We both want the best for eachother no matter how it turns out.

It's getting late so I'm going to close. As always, I love you all and God bless you. I hope I haven't offended anyone. Please forgive me if I have. I'm just sharing "my life right now". It's 2:07 AM. :)

Morning Showers

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